You have the potential to be a cult leader. You spoke to my soul. I recently left my work in tech to take a breather. "It looks distant; foreign; trivial. From that vantage point, you don't mourn leaving it; you mourn having spent so much time there" This is literally how I felt. I put my heart and soul in the work. It was everything until it wasn't. Thanks for writing so well and capturing the thoughts and emotions that I wish I could have articulated.
Thanks Zoey, I'm really glad you liked it. (And if I ever start a cult, for the sake of all of us, don't join it. Unless you really like childish coffee drinks and teen angst pop music, because whatever cult I run would probably mostly be about those things.)
I’ve already read this multiple times. Thank you for an incredible post. This is one of the posts I think I’ll keep coming back to. Packed with so many insights and captures so much. I’m also at a crossroads with my career so this is timely.
There's probably a distinction there worth making, where yeah, I definitely agree that there's a lot to be said for letting your curiosity wander a bit, and letting yourself stumble into unexpectedly interesting things. But, if you find yourself caring about something that everyone else cares about, it's probably worth paying asking if you got there because you developed a genuine interest in it, or if you found yourself just following the current. Because there definitely are a lot of people in tech for whom tech really is what they love - but there are also a lot of people in it because they went to good colleges and didn't know what to do next.
One of the greatest lessons from my life is that you can learn to like things. What you like - or really what you love isn’t fixed. This makes all the difference for me when considering something new.
And to your point there is something pretty great about knowing that a change in environment or circumstances can’t ruin your life when you know you can learn to like something new.
This was in some old post somewhere, but there was the old line a friend once told me about how, if you really wanted to, you could completely change your life in 48 hours. Even if you don't act on it (which most of us haven't and won't), there's something really freeing about that to me. And I suspect it applies to things like too. You can't change them if 48 hours, but give it 48 days, or definitely 48 weeks, and I'm sure you could, if you really wanted to.
Yes - I like that and it makes sense. The trouble is “if you want to” and deciding if you think the effort is worth it - which is not completely knowable.
Having a great partner with whom you have kids is (so far in my experience of life) the best channel for ambition. I try to be a great husband and a great father and everything that goes into that happens to also make me (I hope) great at my work. Becoming a parent really is like entering a cult but for me it washed away so much anxiety about career ambitions. Caring so deeply about someone else helps channel my energy externally in a positive way. That said, it's not for everyone certainly.
For the 20 people in the bar in NYC or SF, there's probably 100 people who chose not to go because they have different priorities. We should try and surround ourselves with some of those people too :)
This didn't make the post, but becoming a parent is one of the few things where lots of people take the leap of faith that their ambitions are going to change, and that the things they wanted before probably aren't the things they will want after. Which, on one hand, becoming a parent is probably pretty uniquely powerful in that regard. But on the other hand, it really does show that what we care about is just a product of our environment, and we can probably engineer other channels for our ambition in the same way too. We just have to be brave enough to take the leap.
Social barnacles, lol you have the best euphemisms. The funny thing about social hierarchy is that we lionize founders, when there’s a lot of value in just being a cog in the machine (that gets no press at all), and living your best life. The new status isn’t all about working, it’s about adventure and growth.
Thanks. And yeah, that's one of the kind of funny things about Silicon Valley - the people who are really winning the game are often the ones who are doing exactly that, but they're also the people that all hustle and grind type people would see as the people who've given up.
This didn't make the post, but one of Away's corporate values was "we help you find your way by staying out of it." Which probably applies to a lot of tech too. In Silicon Valley, find your way by staying out of it.
This gives me an nihilistic vide after a long period of devotion into something you care about and suddenly that thing vaporized right in front of you.
We are all just in our own waters and best of luck, Benn.
Thanks! And that's part of why it was such a striking feeling, actually - Mode didn't vaporize (I actually still use it). But there's a real sense of detachment from it anyway. The relationship vaporized, and so the meaning partly vaporized, but the thing that I could theoretically have the relationship with is still there. Which, hm, now that I say it, maybe makes it feel almost *more* nihilistic.
You have the potential to be a cult leader. You spoke to my soul. I recently left my work in tech to take a breather. "It looks distant; foreign; trivial. From that vantage point, you don't mourn leaving it; you mourn having spent so much time there" This is literally how I felt. I put my heart and soul in the work. It was everything until it wasn't. Thanks for writing so well and capturing the thoughts and emotions that I wish I could have articulated.
Thanks Zoey, I'm really glad you liked it. (And if I ever start a cult, for the sake of all of us, don't join it. Unless you really like childish coffee drinks and teen angst pop music, because whatever cult I run would probably mostly be about those things.)
I’ve already read this multiple times. Thank you for an incredible post. This is one of the posts I think I’ll keep coming back to. Packed with so many insights and captures so much. I’m also at a crossroads with my career so this is timely.
Thanks, I appreciate that. And if you figure out which way to go, please let the rest of know.
I would err on finding your ambition by accident. You can always reevaluate later. Too many people are stuck building the kubernetes of life plans.
There's probably a distinction there worth making, where yeah, I definitely agree that there's a lot to be said for letting your curiosity wander a bit, and letting yourself stumble into unexpectedly interesting things. But, if you find yourself caring about something that everyone else cares about, it's probably worth paying asking if you got there because you developed a genuine interest in it, or if you found yourself just following the current. Because there definitely are a lot of people in tech for whom tech really is what they love - but there are also a lot of people in it because they went to good colleges and didn't know what to do next.
This is one for the books, Benn. I believe that there's a bluer pond out there for you.
One of the greatest lessons from my life is that you can learn to like things. What you like - or really what you love isn’t fixed. This makes all the difference for me when considering something new.
And to your point there is something pretty great about knowing that a change in environment or circumstances can’t ruin your life when you know you can learn to like something new.
This was in some old post somewhere, but there was the old line a friend once told me about how, if you really wanted to, you could completely change your life in 48 hours. Even if you don't act on it (which most of us haven't and won't), there's something really freeing about that to me. And I suspect it applies to things like too. You can't change them if 48 hours, but give it 48 days, or definitely 48 weeks, and I'm sure you could, if you really wanted to.
Yes - I like that and it makes sense. The trouble is “if you want to” and deciding if you think the effort is worth it - which is not completely knowable.
Beautiful Benn 🙏
Having a great partner with whom you have kids is (so far in my experience of life) the best channel for ambition. I try to be a great husband and a great father and everything that goes into that happens to also make me (I hope) great at my work. Becoming a parent really is like entering a cult but for me it washed away so much anxiety about career ambitions. Caring so deeply about someone else helps channel my energy externally in a positive way. That said, it's not for everyone certainly.
For the 20 people in the bar in NYC or SF, there's probably 100 people who chose not to go because they have different priorities. We should try and surround ourselves with some of those people too :)
This didn't make the post, but becoming a parent is one of the few things where lots of people take the leap of faith that their ambitions are going to change, and that the things they wanted before probably aren't the things they will want after. Which, on one hand, becoming a parent is probably pretty uniquely powerful in that regard. But on the other hand, it really does show that what we care about is just a product of our environment, and we can probably engineer other channels for our ambition in the same way too. We just have to be brave enough to take the leap.
Double "we" in the last paragraph. Gread read thanks!
Ah, thanks, good catch!
Pretty good dude.
Social barnacles, lol you have the best euphemisms. The funny thing about social hierarchy is that we lionize founders, when there’s a lot of value in just being a cog in the machine (that gets no press at all), and living your best life. The new status isn’t all about working, it’s about adventure and growth.
Thanks. And yeah, that's one of the kind of funny things about Silicon Valley - the people who are really winning the game are often the ones who are doing exactly that, but they're also the people that all hustle and grind type people would see as the people who've given up.
This didn't make the post, but one of Away's corporate values was "we help you find your way by staying out of it." Which probably applies to a lot of tech too. In Silicon Valley, find your way by staying out of it.
First of all, incredible post from you, again.
This gives me an nihilistic vide after a long period of devotion into something you care about and suddenly that thing vaporized right in front of you.
We are all just in our own waters and best of luck, Benn.
Thanks! And that's part of why it was such a striking feeling, actually - Mode didn't vaporize (I actually still use it). But there's a real sense of detachment from it anyway. The relationship vaporized, and so the meaning partly vaporized, but the thing that I could theoretically have the relationship with is still there. Which, hm, now that I say it, maybe makes it feel almost *more* nihilistic.
For what it's worth, I will ALWAYS want tacos
Ok very fair, bad example.
Two young fish swimming in the sea
An older fish swims by, "Morning boys, how's the water?"
The fish swim on before on turns to the other, curious "What the hell is water?"
Here's to always appreciating the fluid medium in which we play our games. Stay woke.
But in all seriousness, I am looking forward to hearing about the pond(s) you choose to grow in.
That last line gave me shivers. Truly great work, Benn.